In honor of Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about LOVE. It is a very romantic notion to think that love is a FEELING that can hit us like a truck and sweep us off our feet. The cinematic fantasy of someone coming into your life unexpectedly, wind blowing their hair, the sun bouncing off their face, and everything moving in slow motion is an image that we are flooded with on a daily basis. We are surrounded by such expectations in perfume commercials, love songs on the radio, romance on your favorite dramatic series, and characters in books. Being surrounded by these images can cause us to become confused about the definition of love. The notion that people meet and develop feelings of love for each other and then live happily ever after is simplified on screen and frames LOVE as an emotion. The confusion comes in when we try to define LOVE as a feeling in our daily relationships. The truth is LOVE is NOT an emotion.
When you think about the person you love, was it truly the feeling of LOVE that swept you off your feet? Or was it the actions that the other person was doing that created a connection between you and that person.
Love is something we articulate in the vocabulary of ACTION. Love is a verb. It is not a feeling you get from another PERSON; it is an experience you receive as a result of DEEDS YOU DO for another person.
These ACTIONS are no secret and there are specific things you can do to build love within your relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your relationship stronger. There is a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the ACTIONS, the results are predictable...you can "make" love.
If you think of love as a feeling then we often times fall into the trap of loving someone, but questioning if we are in-love with them. If we think of love as something that can be made then we can be proactive within our relationships rather than waiting for the emotion of love to hit us like a Cupid’s arrow.
Ask yourself this, how do I DEMONSTRATE my love for others on a daily basis?